Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Where's My Great Gatsby?

I believe that there is a "Daisy" in each and every one of us. Doesn't matter what race she's from or what religion she follows. Doesn't matter if she's that quiet shy innocent young lady or a wild spirit. Doesn't matter if she trades her Louboutin's for Nike' from time to time or settles with her comfortable flats (Boring!)
Each and every one of us dreams of being covered by blinding white-pearls from Tiffany's. Each and every one of dreams of glamorous yacht parties in Cannes. Each and every one of dreams of being driven around by all-black matte Rolls Royce (Too specific? Guess that's just me).
Too exquisite? That was just the cake. Dry and untamed by icing.
The truth is, most importantly, each and every one of dreams of having her own great Gatsby.
A true unconditional love that only exists once every couple of years, or if I dare say, once in a lifetime.
The man who if you say: "Paris?" He asks: "When?"

Don't get me wrong, it's not just all about the glitz and glamour. I guess, for me, It was more about the way Gatsby looked into Daisy's eyes. It's as if he'd never seen anything so beautiful, so precious, so fragile. Strength is suffocating and weakness is beauty, in Daisy and Gatsby's case at least.
For two hours, my classmates and I lived in pure bliss. Watching the scenes between Daisy and Gatsby and probably turning us fluorescent green with envy.

I guess that's what made accepting his death scene so difficult for us. My classmates and I teared/cried as if a close person has passed away. I guess it wasn't because Gatsby's death, it was more of the idea that a love so powerful could vanish in an instance. We were given the strongest love story for two hours then had it ripped away from us. I guess we mainly cried because, if Gatsby and Daisy couldn't make it, how could we?

Truth is ladies: There is no Gatsby.
And I'm sorry to break it to you, but Gatsby is the reason you will face many disappointments due to high expectations.
To me, the reason why Gatsby died, is because a person like Gatsby is like a dream and dreams die as soon as you wake up, both physically and mentally.


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A Temporary High

It's the type of longing that lingers in your heart for such a long time.
I can't remember a time where I didn't want, I didn't wish, I didn't yearn for something so lost. So far gone.
I thought I found safety when I found you. I thought I found security when I found you. I thought I found love when I found you.
False safety, false security & false love.
I swallowed your promises so fast without considering the thought that they might be ill-fated. I drowned my mind in thoughts of eternity.
Didn't you say we were meant to be? Didn't you say we would last?
Or was it just a momentary infatuation with you? a temporary high?
Your promises, a temporary high.
Your warmth, a temporary high
Your devotion, a temporary high.
Your love, a temporary high.


Peace,
Hamda

Saturday, January 19, 2013

And My Day Begins

Another hour passes. A day. A month. How long has it been? I honestly lost count.
For a moment you have it all and when you least expect it, it all falls apart.
Where did I go wrong? Or was it your fault?
I lay my head on my cold pillow. I hear my mother's laugh outside, my sisters' nagging.
I want to be there with them. I want to be a part of their chaos, the good kind, but the chaos in my mind is far too strong to let me move.
The memories are stuck in my mind like kaleidoscopic photos. Faded, twisted and incomplete.
Nothing is clear, and I don't seem to understand much.
I feel my mind sinking in a black pool, but I don't want to be there.
Sleep takes over, and I wake to another day.
I put myself together again, like missing pieces of a puzzle.
I connect my emotions to my thoughts. My sadness to my smile. My sanity to my insanity.
And my day begins.



Peace,
Hamda 

Friday, November 2, 2012

Haters






*I do not own any rights to this photo*

Inspired!

Last post: Thursday April 5, 2011.

But why?

Writing is what I love. Why did I let it go? Could it be college? friends? family? or simply I might just have gotten lazy.
I can honestly say that in the past year and a half I learned a lot. I'm not calling myself wise or anything, but I believe its safe to say that Hamda now knows a lot more than Hamda from a year and a half.
I learned more about my interests, my career path. I learned about my likes and dislikes. I discovered who truly cares about me and who is just curious. The ones who smile to my face but frown as soon I turn my back.
At last the last thing I could think of as to why I haven't been writing was this: Lack of inspiration.
It's safe to say that my creativity was lost in the past year and a half but I have been slowly and gradually putting the pieces back together. I'm growing emotionally and mentally. I'm licking my wounds and aspiring to become better, the best.
So many people have been there to inspire me and put me back on track: Amna, Mani, AD, Mayari, Afra, Mthayel, Aunt M, and most importantly my mother.

I am truly blessed and grateful.

Peace,
Hamda